Shattered Alpha Read online

  If you did, thank you . Thank you for respecting me and other authors for their hard work, understanding this is our job, and while we love it, we do deserve to be compensated for all the hours, and hours, and hours we put into it.

  If you did not … Go buy one! You are a thief and your parents and grandparents and cute animals all around the world are ashamed of you. There is no justification for committing this crime because it is a crime, no different than walking into a physical bookstore, taking a print copy off the shelf, and walking out of the store without paying for it.

  There is no such thing as a victimless crime. If you truly believe that, you’ve never been a victim. And the victims aren’t only the authors, but the fans who lose authors that quit over our constantly being stolen from and mistreatment. Mistreating the authors that write the books you like or read—not liking them isn’t an excuse for theft, it’s just extra weird then—that’s not a fan. Fans leave reviews to support. Fans send messages of love. Fans… Well fans are nice . Be nice.

  There are lots of ways to fight eBook piracy, reporting the site even if you’re not the copyright holder is always a good option. If you want to help in the fight, Google it and you can see there are many ways.

  Division Chief Seraphine Thomas made a lot of waves in already choppy waters, but progress was also made for paranormals. Some people seemed to realize they were on the same side of the real monsters and changed their tune. Others stepped up to show their support instead of staying quiet.

  But progress causes upset, and most blame Sera as the cause instead of realizing the problems were always there.

  She’s used to that from work. What she can’t handle is finding a man she loves with another woman. She turns to the one person who’s never betrayed her and gives in to what they both want without considering the repercussions.

  Now her personal life is on its head when a wolf shows up dead as a message she can’t figure out and people against progress push back and try to contain her. Will the paranormals and allies she has in Chicago that she’s helped stand with her and fight, or will they betray her and leave her to battle an enemy she cannot win against alone?

  Note to the Reader:

  Thank you to everyone showing love and support to the series. The one thing you guys seem to agree on in all the emails I get is you want more Sera and like yesterday. Me too. Sometimes I’m so excited thinking of a scene, and then I remember I’m the one who has to write it to see how it really pans out. I love her too, so I’m trying —and have done pretty damn well with it so far—to have a Sera release every other month. That is a very hard schedule, as these are full and good sized novels, not baby novellas that I normally put out every other week.

  So for now I’m working on every other month. In reality—and probably this year—she will switch to one book a quarter as I never, not ever, want to get burnt out on Sera or kill myself writing that much. I put it like that because I won’t ever just write crap or phone it in. I took a week off and skipped a normal release last month because I was running on fumes and needed to recharge. That is something you guys can help with. Please review, please share the books if you like them with friends on Kindle or recommend them. It helps me be able to take time when I need it and still be able to pay rent, pay bills, feed the dog, and even get myself something super fun and dorky for my birthday, which I plan on posting pictures of because I love my raised garden bed that will give me tons of fresh veggies.

  Gardening soothes me and helps me think of plots. So does killing zombies. Yes, I realize they are on very extreme ends of the spectrum, but I believe it’s not a secret I am weird.

  You guys are very vocal on lots of stuff with Sera. You had strong reactions to the direction things went with Riley, and yes, I cried too, and as hard as it was to kill off a bigger character like that, it was needed for Sera’s path. Some of you are furious Tristan was out, but he isn’t dead, and I’m fairly certain he will keep popping in and out. Riley and Tristan were always meant to be the mistakes she made when a new wolf and new to having friends, people closer to her, and didn’t learn from. However, I sort of fell in love with Tristan and couldn’t seem to kick him to the curb fully, which is a lot like real life.

  A few of you hate the twins—poor Hagan and Reagan, but I love them—or want me to send away all the rabbits or take Vlad out because you roll your eyes at the cliché of him every time. Yes, I do too… That’s why he’s fun. He thinks he’s so cool, and the rest of us roll our eyes that he’s so not.

  But it’s fun to read all the reactions or hear what parts touched you, or even getting lectured on how I can be so mean to Sera and put her through a lot of shit when I love her as I really do. I’m not a fan of getting lectured on how I give her too much time to whine and fall apart because she hasn’t stubbed a toe. I do put her through a lot of hard shit, and I do seriously consider how long it would take me to get back up after the hits I have her take. The one issue with her not being able to have children—it takes women years to accept that, come to terms with it. None of this stuff is light or “oh no, I ruined my favorite shoes” problems.

  You guys are pretty evenly divided on the sex. And you are very vocal about it and how I “need” to do it how you want. First, no, I don’t. I don’t need to do anything with Sera, and I’m sorry, I will keep her on the path I see her on. Feedback is fun, but the moment I start catering to fans—and there’s no way I could ever make you all happy, and no matter which way I go, a lot will want me to go the other way—will be the day I start phoning in books and they become predictable.

  And I like giving Sera something wild and new to experience. She’s had such a hard life, and I am not making it any easier on her anytime soon, so I think the woman deserves at least a great sex life. I don’t get all that graphic or all that cheesy with the mainstream romance terms and gloss over it mostly because it’s how she got to the sex that’s so important for her. Understanding what she wants is normal and how she grows up and stops worrying over the shit we stop caring about the more life we experience.

  I had so much fun coming up with and writing the Thanksgiving leftovers scene, and over half of you loved it. The other half of you thought it was a bit much for the book type… And I’m ignoring the judgmental emails of “oh my god, it’s just sex, sex, and more fucking sex. All she does is have sex,” which oh my god, she so does not and it’s a small fraction of any of the books, so like seriously, get over it. And yes, I check how many pages have sexual content at all versus the total page count, and it is a small percentage.

  So I’m going to try and split the difference. I will keep having one wild and new experience for Sera, making her siren happy and giving the woman I torture some much needed fun… Just after the end of the book. It will be something like the Sera platter scene where it’s not really a huge plot point or when the sex normally shows some turning point for her, those realizations we have only during sex it seems. Sure, it will be referenced, and this one for sure, but if you want to skip it, you won’t be lost or confused. However, if you read it, it’s extra, have fun, but don’t bitch at me when I have Sera hanging from the rafters and trying every position in the Kama Sutra. The woman needs some fun too.

  Thank you to everyone who wrote the reviews, please keep reviewing, reviewing the older books too, and I will keep doing extra chapters as well as the fun sex after the ending. I had a blast delving into Sera’s history. If there is something you want to see, please email me at [email protected] and let me know. Tell me what you want to see, not how you want to see it. Don’t give me a huge email that Hagan and Reagan should do this, this, and this because I will absolutely never write it then, as that leads to crazy. I’m open to suggestions on this, but keep it simple. I’ve
had a few requests for Sera and Jason getting together or Sera going off to college or something from the guys’ perspectives, and I thought that interesting, so I might delve into that a bit, but I am shit at historical stuff, and I’m not a big historical fiction reader, so I thought maybe how Noah became a vampire but… Yeah, Crusades, centuries ago… Yawn. But we’ll see. Please keep reviewing, tell your friends you liked the series, and send me extra chapter ideas you’d like to see.

  Hugs and kisses from Vader and I, and hopefully you like the new torture course I put Sera on—I mean book. I meant book, really, I did.

  1

  Testifying was never fun. Honestly, testifying on cases sucked. Re testifying because of lawyer bullshit and people dropping the ball was horrible. This was the second time I had to testify on the last case I’d had with the regular FBI, the big mob case that had involved Bernard Dorcus and his crew. They had been the way in to the larger fish and one of the last active mob families in Chicago.

  Unfortunately, a lot of our evidence died when Bernard and his people did. Prosecutors, lawyers, judges, and juries did not like us filling in blanks for people who died on busts. That and the politics involved led to the mistrial and me retestifying. Honestly, I wasn’t hopeful. This one seemed to be going about as well as the last one and might end with a hung jury or something else shitty.

  Which explained my foul mood. There had been the hours testifying, the paperwork to review, and more to sign after. Strategies to go over if I was called back in, making them tell me their plan to finish it. All of it had chapped my ass.

  I was honestly glad I had the house to myself that night. The boys were in Greece, hopping on a plane that morning to take a couple weeks’ trip right after Christmas before they started their studies back up. Actually, Brutus went with to lead a bit of a studying trip there so it was educational as well as fun. And they were more than protected there with Alena and everyone.

  Eva had gone back a few days after Thanksgiving, so I really wasn’t worried. When the boys returned, a few more siren females were going to visit and fill in at the club, get some power and see how other packs were run, that sort of thing. Hestia—my cousin by marriage—was handling a lot of that stuff, so I was happy as long as everything was covered and I could just go feed when I needed to.

  Hey, they were still helping strengthen my pack, so really, that worry was off my shoulders, which was nice when I still had stacks of worries. Constantly.

  Hagan and Reagan were having a guys’ night with the Betas and some of the enforcers. Sort of a bonding thing to get them into the group since they’d had their dominance fights along with Theon and won their positions officially. I’d agreed it would be nice for them to take out the others to show there weren’t any hard feelings, that sort of thing.

  Plus, so many had been going to that support group meeting at the church we helped and were doing well after the help that they needed a night to kick back and blow off some steam. Most of them had stopped going weekly, settling their feelings, but it was like AA in a way where they still went once a month to check in and talk to others in the pack who now went and helped out.

  It was how the meetings at the women’s shelter were going too, which was nice. Progress was nice.

  Noah was busy with the training center and would be home later, so for the moment I was a free woman. I decided as long as I was downtown I was going to pick up dinner at one of my favorite fancy, fancy places I used to splurge on now and again. I wasn’t down there as often, so I put in an order the moment I finished court.

  I found parking, the snow coming in heavy, making me glad I actually had the weekend off and it was later so traffic shouldn’t be so bad. Stepping outside, I took a moment to simply enjoy the quiet. Chicago was rarely quiet, and heavy snowstorms were one of the few times there was peace. It was nice.

  It was a nice time to enjoy my fireplaces too. A nice picnic with a glass of yummy strawberry wine in my living room, maybe even naked on the fairy material rug Dain had given to me for my birthday we’d put there. The versatility of fairy material was astounding, and once they got going to make it on a larger scale, people would seriously be shocked the fae could make something so cool and back off hating us.

  Maybe? We could hope.

  Instead of a nice night, I walked into the restaurant and my heart broke.

  Sitting there at one of the first tables was Brian Havers, leaning in with a gorgeous brunette woman, a human woman, looking like they had just shared a kiss, their chairs pointed at each other, holding hands… With an engagement ring on the table. The little black box sat there, the diamond shining in the restaurant lights, laughing at me and my stupidity at taking him back, believing his lies.

  They didn’t see me. There I stood and watched as they talked quietly together. I took a few steps towards them and then stopped, honestly scared for what my wolf and siren would do to him.

  Their heads snapped towards me, and I realized I was growling. Brian’s eyes went wide, and then he dropped her hands, looking as guilty as he should. It hit me that I wouldn’t be able to handle this, and I quickly yanked off my jacket, stuffing my guns into my bag, hurrying to get everything important into it.

  “Sera, wait,” Brian whispered, slowly getting to his feet. I snarled in his direction, and he froze.

  The second I had the rest of everything in my work bag, I stopped fighting my wolf and shifted right there in the fancy, fancy restaurant, people gasping. Brian moved towards me, and I snapped at him in warning before taking my bag and backing away. One of the waiters rushed over and wisely opened the door for me, and the moment I was outside, I let out a pained howl, crying at how stupid I’d been on the inside.

  Then I took off, bag in my mouth, not caring that a wolf was running through the snow in downtown Chicago. Hell, I was so fast most people wouldn’t even have caught a flash of me. I’d never run so fast for so far, and by the time I reached Highland Park, I ached, making me slow down.

  But I didn’t go home. I didn’t realize where I was heading until I leapt up onto his balcony and plopped my butt down. He seemed to feel me, looking up from the book he was reading and doing a double take. He threw back the covers and got out of bed. The moment he reached the door, I shifted back, snow falling on my blonde hair and naked body. He stared at me a moment before hurrying to unlock the door and letting me in.

  “Milady, what has—”

  I cut him off with a kiss, saying I didn’t want to talk about it. He gave a slow nod, closing and locking the door behind me as I set my bag on his lounge chair. Then I backed him up to the bed, shifting my hand into a claw and slicing his boxer briefs off of him. I shoved him roughly when I had hands again so he landed in the middle of the bed. I climbed up there with him, straddling his thighs as I stared over his amazing body.

  “Do you want me, Dain?”

  “Always,” he breathed, his chest moving with quicker breaths, trying to figure out what he was getting off of me and whatever was going on.

  I didn’t have an answer for him. All I knew was he was the only one who’d never hurt me, never failed me. Noah never hurt me, but he blamed himself sometimes for being stupid and not realizing why Vlad had sent him to my house to protect the boys the night Igor had shown up. My siren was very vocal he’d failed me, but I wasn’t sure I bought that. Either way, Dain had never done anything other than what was always best for me.

  And I was hurt. Maybe it wasn’t right to turn to him then, but people were pretty well known for doing rash things when hurt.

  They should try having a wolf and siren and then see how bad things could get.

  “Will you always want me?” I asked him, tilting my head to study him, letting my siren decide how deep his feelings were for me.

  “Yes, Sera, always,” he swore, his hands moving to my thighs.

  I didn’t want that. Instead, I caught his wrists and pinned them over his head, smirking when he moaned as my breasts brushed his face. He caught a nipp
le in his mouth, and I gasped as he bit hard, sucking away the sting.

  I leaned down and pressed my lips to his ear. “Would you pick me over Laila? Would you follow my orders over hers?” I sat back and met his worried gaze. He went to move his hands when I let go of his wrists but stopped when I growled. “Answer me.”

  “You are my queen, Sera,” he whispered as he grabbed the headboard. “Gods help me, you are my queen and I would always listen to you over my monarch. I would protect you from Laila, killing my sovereign if she ever threatened you. I have sworn all I am to you.”

  “That’s not why,” I purred, knowing it wasn’t his vow. “Why would you do it, Dain?”

  His eyes flashed shock that I wanted to hear the words he’d been dying to say. “Because I love you, Sera. I love you like I have never loved another, never in my hundreds of years, and it took me this long to find you and give my heart to you.”

  I lowered myself onto him, both of us groaning. I rode him hard, wanting a bit of pain at not having the prep. His moans were deeper than normal at how tight I was, practically strangling him. We stared at each other the whole time, not saying anything. I dug my nails into his chest as I finished, riding the waves of pleasure.

  But then I stopped. To his utter disbelief, I stopped moving when my orgasm was done, holding him still with my shins over his thighs so he couldn’t get leverage to thrust. I smiled at him as he watched me, trying to read me.

  “Do you want more?”

  “Yes, always,” he admitted quietly.

  “Do you want me more than any fairy woman?” I swallowed a flinch when understanding filled his eyes. “Even if I can’t give you babies? Even if I’ll never be what you are? Will you always want more? Want me?” I was a bit choked up at the end, clearing my throat.

  “Yes.” There was more to his answer, I could feel it, growling. He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, and I almost got off of him, hurt flourishing in my chest again. “My answer is not gentle or sweet, Sera. If you want the full answer, my true answer, it will not be the Dain you’ve seen, but from the part of me that is dark, as all fairies have and you have witnessed. Just never from me. I do not know if it is an answer or side of me you’re ready for.”